26 Apr 2016

Handy Globalization Guide: Bankster Into Plain English Translator


With the vast fortunes spent by large multinationals on PR "think tanks", benevolent sounding "foundations" and advertising spin doctors (with the express purpose of sanitizing their projects/products) it's little wonder we find ourselves out in the wilderness regarding who can be trusted.  At the level of lobbied multinational interests public sentiment is critical for political potency.  Too much outrage can sabotage the slickest corporate outfit.  Consent must be manufactured at all costs.



With this in mind I would like to suggest a method that may be useful.  Use this (admittedly) cynical translator, which aims to translate corporate lingo and catchphrases into plain English but assuming the worst. This provides a scale of two extremes.  Look at the stated goal VS my worst case translated scenario, then look at the organisation in question and decide for yourself where their interests lie, and somewhere in between you will likely get a sense of where they are truly pitched.





  •  End poverty in all its forms everywhere
  • Translation: Centralized banks, IMF, World Bank, Fed to control all finances, digital one world currency in a cashless society
  • Feed the world
  • Translation: Control the worlds food supply.
  • Efficient agriculture, achieve food security and improved nutrition and promote sustainable farming.
  • Translation: GMO
  • Secure Society
  • Translation: Prison Planet
  • Ensure healthy lives and promote well-being for all at all ages
  • Translation: Mass vaccination of proven or unproven products, big pharma lobby and pvt medi care, Codex Alimentarius
  • Ensure inclusive and equitable quality education and promote lifelong learning opportunities for all
  • Translation: UN propaganda, brainwashing through compulsory education from cradle to grave.
  • Ensure availability and sustainable management of water and sanitation for all
  • Translation: Privatize all water sources, don’t forget to add fluoride
  • Ensure access to affordable, reliable, sustainable and modern energy for all
  • Translation: Smart grid with smart meters on everything, peak pricing
  • Promote sustained, inclusive and sustainable economic growth, full and productive employment and decent work for all
  • Translation: TPP, NAFTA, free trade zones that favor mega-corporate interests and franchise operations over entrpreneurs, McJobs over careers.
  • Build resilient infrastructure, promote inclusive and sustainable industrialization and foster innovation
  • Translation: Toll roads, push public transit, remove free travel, environmental restrictions

  • Reduce inequality within and among countries
  • Translation: Even more regional government bureaucracy like a mutant octopus
  • Make cities and human settlements inclusive, safe, resilient and sustainable
  • Translation: Big brother big data surveillance state
  • Ensure sustainable consumption and production patterns
  • Translation: Forced austerity
  • Take urgent action to combat climate change and its impacts*
  • Translation: Cap and Trade, carbon taxes/credits, footprint taxes (aka Al Gore’s wet dream)
  • Conserve and sustainably use the oceans, seas and marine resources for sustainable development
  • Translation: Environmental restrictions, control all oceans including mineral rights from ocean floors
  • Protect, restore and promote sustainable use of terrestrial ecosystems, sustainably manage forests, combat desertification, and halt and reverse land degradation and halt biodiversity loss
  • Translation: More environmental restrictions, more controlling resources and mineral rights
  • Promote peaceful and inclusive societies for sustainable development, provide access to justice for all and build effective, accountable and inclusive institutions at all levels
  • Translation: UN “peacekeeping” missions, the International Court of (blind) Justice, force people together via fake refugee crises and then mediate with more “UN peacekeeping” when tension breaks out to gain more control over a region, remove 2nd Amendment in USA
  • Strengthen the means of implementation and revitalize the global partnership for sustainable development
  • Translation: Remove national sovereignty worldwide, promote globalism under the “authority” and bloated, Orwellian bureaucracy of the UN